lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
How external is "for external use only"?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
