Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
