Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
