3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
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