either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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