somebody snuck up and got me drunk
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize