I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
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