you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
