I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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