Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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