He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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