I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i just lost a toe
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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