Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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