You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
