And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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