And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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