True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
where does the pee come out of this thing
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
