Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
