If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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