You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I booty called her while she was in labor.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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