I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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