they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Randomize
