You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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