The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
