Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize