There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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