You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
