Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize
