If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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