i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
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