just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
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