What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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