3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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