oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
