Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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