If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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