I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
50% drunk capacity currently
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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