I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
