READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
