chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
