Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
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