she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize