yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
