nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
bring money and cleavage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Everclear isn't food dammit
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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