JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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