I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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