At least make sure they are 18
Why
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
