It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
