I'm gonna have a badass scar
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
