Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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