i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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