I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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