There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
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