I want to make a zoo with you.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
