I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
