it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
