I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
