Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
