He uses pillows to masturbate.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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