Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
